i am an authorised representative of the intergalactic mission (12. 030)

Courtesy of our faithful chronicler, a decade ahead of the more infamous Max Headroom Signal hijacking (caution, flashing images), we learn that on this day in 1977 viewers in southern England watching the ITN 5:10 pm news summary got quite a shock when the audio was commandeered by a deep buzzing and a electronically garbled voice addressing the world for some six minutes before returning to regular programming. Claiming to Asteron of the Vrillon race of extraterrestrials, the speaker delivered a message on behalf of the Ashtar Galactic Command (after the name of beings, ascended masters several contactees since the early 1950s claimed to have channelled as mediums):

For many years you have seen us as lights in the skies. We speak to you now in peace and wisdom as we have done to your brothers and sisters all over this, your planet Earth. We come to warn you of the destiny of your race and your world so that you may communicate to your fellow beings the course you must take to avoid the disaster which threatens your world, and the beings on our worlds around you.

This is in order that you may share in the great awakening, as the planet passes into the New Age of Aquarius. The New Age can be a time of great peace and evolution for your race, but only if your rulers are made aware of the evil forces that can overshadow their judgments.

Be still now and listen, for your chance may not come again. All your weapons of evil must be removed. The time for conflict is now past and the race of which you are a part may proceed to the higher stages of its evolution if you show yourselves worthy to do this. You have but a short time to learn to live together in peace and goodwill.  Small groups all over the planet are learning this, and exist to pass on the light of the dawning New Age to you all.

You are free to accept or reject their teachings, but only those who learn to live in peace will pass to the higher realms of spiritual evolution. Hear now the voice of Vrillon, a representative of the Ashtar Galactic Command, speaking to you. Be aware also that there are many false prophets and guides at present operating on your world. They will suck your energy from you—the energy you call money and will put it to evil ends and give you worthless dross in return.

Your inner divine self will protect you from this. You must learn to be sensitive to the voice within that can tell you what is truth, and what is confusion, chaos and untruth. Learn to listen to the voice of truth which is within you and you will lead yourselves onto the path of evolution. This is our message to our dear friends. We have watched you growing for many years as you too have watched our lights in your skies.

You know now that we are here, and that there are more beings on and around your Earth than your scientists admit. We are deeply concerned about you and your path towards the light and will do all we can to help you. Have no fear, seek only to know yourselves, and live in harmony with the ways of your planet Earth. We here at the Ashtar Galactic Command thank you for your attention. We are now leaving the planes of your existence. May you be blessed by the supreme love and truth of the cosmos.

The transcript varies slightly according to the recollection of witnesses, and the station afterwards apologised for what was described as a “breakthrough in sound,” the network technically explaining how such a hoax could have occurred though the prank would have demanded not only considerable coordination and expertise to pull off. No one ever came forward and the author of the missive is unknown and is accepted as gospel by some in the ufology community—and in any case not a bad message for humankind. 

monsterpiece theatre (12. 029)

Although a bit of a try-hard and with some definite tendencies towards this aesthetic, I always admired the Sesame Street character, one of the original cast members, Prairie Dawn—having developed a distinct, precocious personality out of an Anything Muppet—and aspiring journalist and director. We didn’t appreciate however how often she was shown reading (particularly during the late 80s and early 90s) reading, and not fictitious works that played on some classic title but actual literature well above her cohort’s reading-level, including A Room of One’s Own and Orlando by Virginia Woolf, Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, The Feminine Mystique, The Bell Jar and Anna Karenina.

 synchronoptica

one year ago: the retroactive canonising of Disney (with synchronoptica), sculptor Roberto Cordone plus assorted links to revisit

seven years ago: a gender-neutral God plus emotional manipulation with alcohol

eight years ago: Turkey threats to open borders to transit refugees to the EU, a tacit challenge to uphold democratic values amid fake news plus colouring-books for grown-ups

ten years ago: Ottoman successors and Nazi predecessors plus eccentric aristocrats

eleven years ago: preserving traditional viniculture in the Rheingau 

8x8 (12. 028)

ofdon: US Defence Secretary nominee views the armed forces as means for promoting Christian Reconstructionism and the patriarchy  

fugatto: a new AI-powered audio editor claims to create sounds never before heard  

mrs french’s cat is missing: the 2008 Canadian horror film Pontypool about a viral outbreak that coopts language as a vector is a MetaFilter favourite  

cop29: members agree to an annual three hundred billion dollar stipend to help poorer countries cope with climate change as talks nearly implode  

virtual geoglyphs: the community of GPS artists transforming their daily perambulations into a kind of sky-writing

test kitchen: corporate casseroles and other industry influences on Thanksgiving—see also 

letters from england: Karel Čapek’s (see previously) impression of his host country in exile 

🎯: Elon Musk muses about purchasing the news network MSNBC, along with other shitposting

hoots mon! (12. 027)

Topping the UK charts on this day in 1958, the song by the ensemble Lord Rockingham’s XI, a group of session musicians fronted saxophonist Harry Robinson were the resident band for Oh Boy!, was based on the traditional Scottish folk jig “One Hundred Pipers.” Mostly instrumental and one of the first rock and roll numbers to feature a Hammond organ, the number is punctuated with four stereotypical Scotts phrases including the titular expression of annoyance or dismissal, och aye—“oh yes” and two well accented phrases, there’s a mouse loose about this house and it’s a fine, bright moonlit night. Disbanded with the end of the television programme, Lord Rockingham’s XI was sued by the descendants of the real marquess of the County of Northhampton for capitalising on the baronet’s title.

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 synchronoptica

one year ago: the Reluctant Bride (with synchronoptica), Band-Aid (1984) plus redesigning the Minnesota state flag

eight years ago: radical redesigns for US flag upon addition of Alaska and Hawaii, the musical stylings of Sigur Rós plus US presidential turkey pardons

nine years ago: assorted links to revisit plus coping with the emergency lockdown in Brussels

ten years ago: the moon Europa plus the development of the Romance languages

eleven years ago: the EU floats idea of negative interest rates

aeolian vamp (12. 026)

Via Misscellania, we are let in on a little secret as how remix artists can accomplish such peerless mashups by paying attention to chord progressions in songs, as with the lede example in this demonstration of In the Air Tonight X My Heart Will Go On, which make lyrics interchangeable and key and tempo easy to flatten out. The Beatles’ Yesterday and Mister Blue Sky from ELO have the same harmonic succession as do Michael Jackson’s Black or White and I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2, and most other pop-songs have a much simpler foundation as their signature structure. A variant on the title rotation I-V-vi-IV (tonic, the major fifth, minor sixth to the major sixth) is a hit parade including Toto’s Africa, Beast of Burden, Despacito, Dragostea Din Tei, Lady Gaga’s Poker Face and Paparazzi, Otherside and Snow (Hey Oh) by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Zombie and We Didn’t Start the Fire as well as a number of gospels and Christian rock ballads. Songs using the so called ‘50s progression (I-vi-IV-V) include any number of doo-wop standards, Stand by Me, Blue Moon, Heart and Soul, Where Have All the Flowers Gone?, Avril Lavigne’s Complicated, Unchained Melody, D’yer Mak’er, Crocodile Rock, Walking in Memphis, Monster Mash and Total Eclipse of the Heart. Sometimes I flatter myself thinking I have an ear for such correspondence but I do sometimes hear and can imagine medleys bleeding into each other.

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 synchronoptica

one year ago: one-night houses (with synchronoptica),  the discovery of Lucy (1974), Diamond Geezer plus It’s Black Friday, Charlie Brown!

seven years ago: more urban bird houses, life at the edge of sight, competing Thanksgivings plus a cabinet of linguistic curiosities

eight years ago: assorted links worth revisiting, the bluetooth rune plus national novel-generation month

nine years ago: on the origins of species plus more on the centenary of Einstein

ten years ago: a treasury of rhetorical devices

8x8 (12. 025)

the mccallisters: Maculay Culkin digitally inserted in other Christmas movies by the Brothers Bell—via Waxy  

to get me, somebody would have to shoot through the fake news: what a second Trump term means for journalism—see previously  

predatory pricing: Elizabeth Warren calls out industry over .com domains  

firehose: Bluesky posts as they happen 

this hour has twenty-two minutes: US national coding lessons have the look of extended commercial advertising  

walk right in—it’s a round back, just a half a mile from the railroad track: the title figure of the seasonal Arlo Guthrie song, Alice Brock, has passed away, aged 83 

life with grandpa: an unsettling example of perverse puppetry from the cult The Family International  

holidays are coming: Coca-Colas’s AI commercial spot improved—via Web Curios

high concept (12. 024)

Though I would too defend Maurizio Cattelan piece of a banana duct-taped to a wall as legitimate art in the route of Duchamp or Warhol (and not an object with actual permanence like the hyper-realistic and satirical sculptures in the artist’s repertoire but rather a perishable piece of fruit and a roll of duct tape that need replacing with a certificate of authenticity and instructions on how to display the work—see also), the sale of a third edition (the first two were acquired by museums for a more reasonable sum of one-hundred and twenty thousand dollars) to an entrepreneur for just over six-million— well over its million dollar reserve price and paid in Bitcoin, one of the only lots for which the auction house would accept payment in that form—makes me think that the resurrection of the Trump regime, for all the obvious nefariousness, was also a vehicle to bring back the grift of crypto and NFTs. The main element of the work was purchased the morning of the auction from a local fruit vendor for 35¢, appreciating in value fifteen-million fold, by the end of the day. The two other copies were eaten while on exhibitions, as will this one, whose new owner is happy about the portable nature of the work that could be mounted anywhere.

synchronoptica

one year ago: an apparent breakthrough in general artificial intelligence (with synchronoptica) plus a counter-culture Thanksgiving tradition

seven years ago: more Thanksgiving greetings

eight years ago: another pause for Turkey Day 

nine years ago: recommended gift catalogues  

ten years ago: poetry and language

consul junior (12. 023)

Via Friend of the Blog par excellence Nag on the Lake, we are introduced to the esteemed French-Russian surgeon, Serge Voronoff (see also, though we were hoping they were one in the same personage) who gained international fame for his xenotransplantation experiments (see previously) as a meanings of restoring virility and vitality by grafting simian glands onto human recipients. Controversial and subsequently debunked as quackery, Voronoff’s practise and outrageous claims made him very wealthy—initially he moved from research on the thyroid to transplanting testes from executed criminals onto millionaire clients but soon demand surpassed donors and the doctor turned to using chimpanzee (see above) tissue instead. We learn about this work, which has echoes of modern rejuvenation movements and seemingly similarly ill-informed courtesy of a defiant letter to the editor penned by playwright George Bernard Shaw in May 1928 on behalf of the titular London’s Regent’s Park zoo’s most famous resident of the monkey house, not keen on donating—ahead of Voronoff’s much-anticipated visit to the UK in response to detractors maintaining that the implantation would cause humans to take on the baser attributes of their close relative—as read by Andy Serkis (previously—here’s an alternate source as the original link has been sadly zombified by AI slop)—Golem and Caesar from Planet of the Apes.