dire straits (13. 361)

The Iranian foreign minister, Abbas Araghchi, in response to the ceasefire brokered for Lebanon, has announced that the Strait of Hormuz will be unconditionally opened for commercial shipping for the duration of the cessation of hostilities, a key point in Tehran’s list of demands. In response and trying to flatten and take ownership of the narrative, Trump dispatched a celebratory series of seemingly detached missives that read as if from some mirror universe wire-services, simplifying the yet tenuous and unresolved situation, offering thanks and demands that the rest of the world acknowledge this gratitude and tribute, stating that Iran promises to never block the waterway again, that the US had prohibited Israel from bombing Beirut, that Iran will surrender its supplies of enriched uranium (“nuclear dust”) to the US, sanctions will remain in place and Iranian funds will continue to be frozen, and America will maintain its blockade of Iranian ports until a peace deal is finalised—claims all (except the last) unverified with the Revolutionary Guard still requiring clearance and Netanyahu insisting that it has not yet finished operations against Hezbollah, throwing shade at and reifying the concept of the fog of war.

8x8 (13. 360)

what1tune: a musical address regimen to geohash the globe with simple melodies—see previously 

neon colour spreading: a compelling optical illusion—see also 

imperial megalomania: Commodus ordered the entire city of Rome named after himself, executed anyone who mocked him, dispatched and quick subject to damnatio memoriae 

measure for measure: the religious hypocrisy (and ignorance) on display in the Trump White House with attacks on the papacy and crusader mentality through the lens of Shakespeare’s play  

proleporn: AI slop in George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four—see previously  

on the clock: Maarten Baas studio recruits a thousand volunteers to represent the hands of time at Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport—see previously 

hollyworld: filming location substitutes in California

day forty-nine (13. 359)

A truce negotiated between Lebanon and Israel begins a ten-day ceasefire, though IDF troops will not withdraw from occupied areas south of Beirut and reserves the right to defend itself from Hezbollah attacks. Islamabad prepares to receive foreign delegates for a second round of trilateral peace talks—Trump pronouncing that the war with Iran is going “swimmingly and we can do whatever we want” and that it is almost over—though concrete plans for negotiations have yet to coalesce. The wisdom of the masses in world markets tick upwards on hopes for a settlement that will allow the recovery process to begin but a return to pre-war stability and production will take months under the best case scenario.  The US continues to rally against NATO inaction and is sharply critical of partners in the Indo-Pacific ahead of a summit with China’s president Xi.

i’m gerald ford…and you’re not (13. 358)

 

Invited by Al Franken, former NBC war-correspondent and nightly news anchor White House press secretary Ron Nessen became the first political figure to host SNL (then called “NBC’s Saturday Night”) on this day in 1976, with Gerald Ford declining the offer in the midst of an election campaign.  Nessen had replaced Ford’s first spokesperson after Jerald terHorst resigned less than a month into the administration in protest after Ford’s pardon of his predecessor Richard Nixon. And while Ford did not appear on stage, the president did take part in three pre-recorded segments and and introduced the show with the tagline,“Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” and responded to the above running jokes of Chevy Chase’s portrayal of him. The musical guest was Patti Smith.

 

synchronoptica

one year ago: the first public exhibition of a giant squid (with synchronopticæ) plus international plug and socket standards

 

thirteen years ago: a mysterious Iranian factory in Germany 

inventive genius makes great discovery (13. 357)

The reason why we use the hole emoji as a tag for cartoons, as our faithful chronicler informs, on this day in 1955, the Robert McKimson Looney Tunes short premiered. Among the handful of Warner Brothers’ animated features not to include their usual cast of characters. Despite disapproval from his wife, Gertrude, scientist Calvin Q Calculus continues his research and develops a portable hole. The achievement publicised in a newsreel, a thief pilfers the professor’s briefcase containing the stock of his invention for nefarious purposes. The debut directorial work of McKimson for the studio convinced producers to revive their animation unit that was in the process of slowly shutting down since 1953, but lack of funding prevented other animators being recalled to contribute, with McKimson doing all of the work himself.

if you block me, then i block you (13. 356)

What a strange timeline we live in.  Iranian communication officers have already proven their trolling chops with a series of Lego shorts trolling the US administration over its illegal war of choice, but the below video, a riff on the 1986 French europop hit by Desireless, attributed to the Iranian embassy, is really the chef’s kiss even with the stakes as high as they are. I wish conflicts were settled this way, and although designed to send Trump into conniptions, I am afraid that the dowager queen might be a little flattered by this competent use of AI.

day forty-eight (13. 355)

Contradicting earlier pronouncements that the tenuous ceasefire between Washington and Tehran would not be extended and then it would not be necessary as the second round of peace negotiations were imminent and that the war is nearly over, Trump and Iranian leadership seem poised to prolong their truce in anticipation of another summit to be hosted by Pakistan over the weekend. Despite rumours that Israel is contemplating a one week armistice in Lebanon, actions seems to rule out the possibility of a respite, Netanyahu seizing a historic opportunity to route out the Iranian backed terror group once and for all, declaring land south of the Litani river a Hezbollah “kill zone.” The US claims it maritime blockade to be water-tight though telemetry suggests that some ships are transiting the Strait of Hormuz and exiting the Persian gulf, whilst Iran threatens to close of access to the Red Sea and the Suez via their proxies in Yemen, the Houthi rebels should the US keep up their embargo, an economic pressure campaign that has repercussions for worldwide markets.

synchronoptica

one year ago: the Hartsfield-Jackson airport of Atlanta (with synchronopticæ) plus an infinite botanical quilt

fourteen years ago: the murder of Trayvon Martin plus a papal birthday

fifteen years ago: donkey rescue society 

sixteen years ago: fire and ice 

seventeen years ago: clearing one’s cache 

stalemate (13. 354)

One of the most popular variants of the game, in reverse or losing chess, the objective is to be the first to have all their pieces captured, the players obliged to act on taking an opponent’s square if availed to them. Aside from compulsory capturing and the lack of royal succession—no pawns become queens and pieces are not promoted in rank—the rules remain the same but without careful opening strategies, the game tends to result in a draw, with greater regularity than in standard chess, and a dead board. Originally codified in the late nineteenth century as “take me,” this anti-chess has seen a surge in popularity in recent decades with its own clubs and tournaments, players intrigued with challenge of competitive exposure and creating vulnerabilities.